dVerse means poetry forms and this is my first attempt at what they are calling Dizain poetry. Try it! I did and it was a challenge to be sure.
Rules can be found here
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This day leaves seemed contrived where art thou breeze?
Anchored tight clouds cling the sky blue setting
Swiftly in a flicker of time, a wheeze
What! A storm approaching — quite upsetting
Another grim moment unforgetting
But, wait we see the brightness of the sun
Our God is teasing us, having some fun
Making sure we know that He is still there
Believe it or not, He won’t be outdone
World again still where art thou breeze — nowhere!
I think you’ve met the challenge excellently, with some original rhymes, and you seem to have had fun with it. You did miss one rhyme in the final lines of your second verse: ‘there;’ and ‘breeze’. Admittedly ‘breeze’ harks back to the rhymes of the first verse, which almost saves it. The reader doesn’t immediately notice the variation. If I hadn’t been reading with the form in mind, I might well have missed it. You have a few weeks to rewrite it if you wish; it’s an enjoyable and thought-provoking read in any case.
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Thank you so much, I appreciate your comment.
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Leaves and trees are a popular choice for this prompt. I liked the timelessness of the piece, the language formal without being archaic.
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Thank you again, Rosemary, hope I improved it with my rewrite.
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Oh yes, well done!
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I like God’s teasing making sure we don’t forget He’s there.
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Well written! 🙂
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Nicely done, i these hot days, one certai ly mus ask of the presence of the breeze
Much❤love
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